Be well..

Few days  ago, my cousin found out that she lost her beloved baby in her 31weeks tummy, she named her Abigail. What a pretty name.

We were really shocked, sad, devastated, especially when the doctor said there were nothing wrong with the pregnancy and the baby, and she just had a monthly check up few days before, and everything was perfect.

This bring back my memories about my little angel, Adeline who went to heaven 6 years ago. My husband also feel the same thing, I can feel his grief. I'm really sad, I cried for baby Abigail, I felt so sorry for my cousin and mostly I miss my little Adeline. I know I shouldn't, she's an angel in heaven now, but I can't help it. The regret of not having a chance to hold her, to say goodbye to her, were crawling into my heart, it's very hurt, i cried hard that night. I was upset that no one would think that it's the best for me to be able to hold my baby for the last time, that I can move on and accept everything. Ah well.. i just hope that i can fully heal my heart as time passed by. Maybe one day when I died, I could finally see her and hug her.

I couldn't go to Abigail's funeral, because my girl, Nicolene was sick. I really really wanted to go, but I think somehow it wasn't meant to be for me to go. Maybe it's the best for me not to go, I would probably cried hard again or fainted.

I feel so sorry for my cousin, it's very very devastated to have a stillbirth. I will try my best to comfort her, I know how she feel. been there. I just hope that no one would experience the same thing.

Be well all..