'HOW TO GET A DAY OFF WORK'

I urgently needed a day off, but I knew my boss would not let me take leave. I thought maybe, if I acted crazy, he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises.

My Maori co-worker asked what I was doing. I told him I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the boss would think I was crazy and allow me a few days off work.

Soon enough, my boss entered the office. "What are you doing"? he exclaimed. I told him I was a light bulb. He said "you are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down from the ceiling and walked out of the office.

When my Maori co-worker followed me, the boss asked him "and where do you think you're going?" He said "I'm going home bro , I can't work in the dark".

Why British think 80% of M'sians coming to UK to study law?

UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?
Visitor: I'm here to study law, sir.
Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia .
Visitor: Why do you say that?
Officer: Well, i've been here for a good twenty years, and I'd say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they're here to read law.
Visitor: Oh, really? That's really something i never knew. Hard to believe in fact.
Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I'll bet he's here to read law.
*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter*
Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?
Ah Chong: Study lorr...

cheers..